May 25, 2012
Way Back When.
Everly and Arlo,
So many nights, with my fingers poised above the keys of my laptop, I think about what I want to write about and what I want to say to you. I think about you reading this blog one day. I hope you’ll read it because I write it for you above all else. Sometimes someone will ask me if I’ve ever wanted to write a book (considering how much I like to write in general) and all I can think is, well… I sort of am doing that now. I’m writing our book - the story of us- here on the pages of my blog.
So as I contemplated the topic of this new post I thought about what I like to hear about from my own parents. One thing that keeps coming to mind is stories about their youth. I love getting to know who they were as children, as teenagers, as young adults through their stories. I feel like it gives me a more complete picture of who they are as people. I thought it’d be fun to share some of my favorite stories from my youth and get your father in on the action too. Goodness knows he’s got some good ones to tell!
So here you go, my little ones. A story from my girlhood… way back when.
(I thought I’d cheat a little today and repost a story I wrote back in 2007 because it’s one of my very favorites.)
I hope this doesn’t change things between us… I have to get something off my chest.
It’s been haunting me for some time now, and the only way to get this dark stain off my soul
is to come clean with it. So here goes…..
Read More
May 24, 2012
Seriously, what is wrong with me lately? Two morning ago, I left my coffee sitting on the fence next to my car and drove away without it. Then I sent Arlo’s birthday invites out the WEEK before his party and today, like a bolt of lightening it hits me that I never announced a winner for the Style Mentors and THEIT Camera bag contest. GET IT TOGETHER MELISSA!
So here I am. late. like always these days.
The winning camera bag design was THE SATCHEL (Want another look at the choices, go here)! THEIT is already in pre-production to get it into the hands of camera lovin’ ladies everywhere as soon as possible. Wondering who designed it? Well, the winning designer will get to show off their design in the flesh when it’s available! So on to the giveaway, I threw the numbers into random.org and the lucky Dear Baby reader who gets first dibs at the new design is…. (insert trumpet sounds here)
Martha Metzler who wrote:
“I voted :) I guessed the messenger! it reminded me of arlo’s dresser. Anywho, I am NOT bathing suit shopping until I have enough blue moon or chewy sprees in my system to avoid a break down.”
I’ll reach out to you shortly to pass on all your details to THEIT! Thanks to everyone who voted and entered!
Love,
M
May 23, 2012
Fun with Baby Boy Clothes.
There is only one major gripe I usually hear from mamas of baby boys - and that is “All the cute clothes are made for girls!” In some respects - this is true - cute girl stuff is easier to find but I say all the time that dressing a baby boy can be as much - if not more fun - than dressing a daughter. Maybe I just like a good challenge!
Here are a few tips I’ve picked up on how to dress a baby boy:
1. Stick with solids, stripes, and plaids. I’ve built most of Arlo’s wardrobe around these three fabric choices. It makes it really easy to interchange pieces and pair things together - plus it looks clean and current.
2. Go ahead, mix styles! I’m always trying to decide if I want to dress Arlo like little boy blue or a surfer dude (Anyone else feel this way? no? just me?). So lately I’ve been mixing the two. I love pairing a super sweet baby boy jumper (even knee socks!) with some more trendy accessories like high top sneakers. The same can be said for preppy & edgy (stripes and camo).
3. Boys can accessorize too! So they don’t have ruffley diaper covers and hair bows to dress them up - but an awesome pair of kicks, suspenders (try etsy!), funky socks or the perfect hat can make a basic outfit extra cute.
4. COLOR. You don’t have to dress him like rainbow brite, but it’s amazing what a few bright or bold colors paired together can do. So many boy clothes tend to be in shades of khaki, gray and navy - so I love to pair those neutrals with bright red, mustard yellow and even deep shades of purple.
Where to shop?
1. I say this all the time, but my all time favorite place to score cute fella clothing is Zulily. They offer a lot of smaller brands at deep discounts. It’s actually how I discovered one of my favorite clothing brands, Broken Tricycle, but I also love to find cute rompers & funky print shirts. Another favorite brand is Kate Quinn Organics but I wait for them to go on Zulily so that I can afford them!
2. Go with the classics! You don’t have to spend an arm & a leg on the fancy boutique brands to find good stuff. Arlo’s closet is FULL of really great pieces from brands like Oshkosh & Carter’s. I’ve recently teamed up with them to highlight some of my favorite pieces (a post on that later!) but we’ve been buying comfortable wash and wear pieces from theses brands since before he was born. I also buy a lot of his basics at Target, Wal-mart & children’s consignment boutiques.
3. Throw in a few trends. A few of my favorite places to find really great “trendy” boys clothes are 77 Kids, Next Direct (my all time favorite!) & H&M. I’m also a fan of Zara baby although they can get pricey quickly!
Still need some inspiration?
Check out the awesomely dressed little fellas at these blogs:
Kingston at The Baby Blackbird
Ames at Kincaid Parade
Kian at Kayden Lane
Cove at Deep in the Hart
Henry at Sometimes Sweet
Wolfie at Modern Kiddo
Wilf at Tigerlilly Quinn
I’ve got some awesome boy clothing picks for summer bookmarked that I’ll share in a future post but, I’d love to hear your “how to dress a boy” tips and see photos of your own stylish little dude (share a link in the comments!).
Love,
M
May 22, 2012
Letters to My Children
Ten of my greatest hopes for each you…
1. That your father and I instill in both of you a love of education and books and seeking knowledge. Read everything. Fill your head with philosophies and history and science. Education is one of the few things in life that can never be taken away from you.
2. Travel the world. Experience as many different countries and cultures as possible. Take every opportunity to go and do and see!
3. Seek out your passions. Grow them! Be they music, art, dance, sports… whatever! You are capable of reaching whatever goal you can dream up. Invest in yourself and your talents.
4. Do not be afraid to speak up when you feel something is unfair, unjust or harmful. We are all deserving of kindness. There is no cause or difference worthy of belittling or bullying others. Doing the right thing is not always the popular thing, but it will always be worth it.
5. I hope that one day you know what it feels like to love another person with all of your heart. Take your time (lots and lots of time!). Don’t rush into matters of the heart. Enjoy your youth and be carefree but when you’re ready, loving someone else faithfully and completely will be one of the greatest gifts of your life.
6. And along those same lines, I hope that you know what it feels like to be loved by another with all of their heart. When you do fall in love, make sure that person is willing to give the same to you. You are worth the effort. True love is an equal partnership.
7. May your heartbreaks in life be minimal. They will happen. And they can feel so consuming and paralyzing but know that they are part of your story. The hurt will shape you and it will make you a wiser, better person. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is allow yourself to be vulnerable.
8. Have a group of friends who will be loyal and encouraging. Over the course of your life you will hold so many different friendships - some of them good and some of them detrimental. Don’t waste time on anyone who is not good to you. Let the lessons from all of these relationships allow you to build a circle of friends who will always be there to stand with you in the highest and lowest moments of your life.
9. No matter what happens to you, remember that your father and I are here to care for you and guide you and support you. Even if we disagree with you, don’t ever be afraid to come to us for help. We may not always have the answer or the means, but we’ll be in it together. Our love for you is without limits or conditions and it will always be that way.
10. And lastly, the most important hope of all. Never forget that faith in and love for Jesus Christ is all you need. Above the love of a partner, the friendship of your peers, even your family. Let Him be the north star that guides your life.
When I think of your future, my mama heart can barely contain the hope it holds for you. You are so small now, but the days are moving fast and I am taking every opportunity to be purposeful and open about my dreams for you. But these words are just that … my dreams… merely a launching pad for the possibilities of your life. Who will you become? What will you achieve? Only time will reveal those things. I am certain that the very best thing I will ever do in my life has already begun. In whatever you accomplish, you will be my greatest legacy.
Love,
mama
May 20, 2012
“Oh no! I can’t listen! I can’t listen!” Everly, upon getting water in her ear during a bath.
May 18, 2012
Growing the Good Sponsor: Stache Bash
I wanted to introduce you to one of the awesome companies that is sponsoring Dear Baby and our Growing the Good efforts this month. 100% of Stache Bash’s sponsorship funds went directly to charity. Stache Bash is a funky little shop full of baby pacifiers with serious personality. Also, for those of you not interested in baby items, she makes mustaches for cats. Something for everyone! Go see! Anyway…. where was I? Oh right.. my point here. These things are truth:
1. Babies are awesome.
2. Mustaches are also awesome.
3. Babies wearing mustaches are the most awesome of all awesomes.
So I sat down with Amanda (the mastermind behind Stache Bash) to get the details on how this whole empire of awesomeness came to be.
Where in the world did you get the inspiration to create Stache Bash?
I randomly saw some cute little stache pacifiers made with craft foam on a blog. They were simply glued on to the pacifiers. I started whipping them up for my girlfriends that were expecting, but I’d always have to add the caveat “Don’t ever leave your baby unattended with this!” because craft foam can easily tear into little pieces and glue doesn’t stick to plastic very well. It was frustrating, because people really loved them, but they were completely unsafe. I kept thinking there had to be a better way to make these that would be safer - something that was more securely attached and with non-toxic materials (because really, who wants to put Gorilla Glue near their baby’s mouth?!) I finally settled on crocheting. My mom taught me the basic stitches, I looked up some mustache patterns online, started tweaking them to get the right sizes and shapes that I wanted and viola! Stache Bash was born. It’s kind of funny, because it started off as just a little joke gift for friends, and now I sell in four retail stores and to customers all over the world. I guess the joke’s on me!
Amanda Bowen is a mustache connoisseur, crafter and lover of all things DIY. She has no children of her own, but enjoys making yours look silly. She lives in Cleveland, Ohio with a plethora of pets and a growing collection of mustache-themed items. Be sure to stop by Stache Bash and check her out!
Love,
M
May 17, 2012
And Then He Was One.
Arlo was born a year ago today, at 3:59am. His birth will forever be one of my bravest, most powerful accomplishments. Last night I found myself retracing the places I was last year. 9:30pm - thinking I’d be pregnant forever. Midnight - my first contraction 12:30am- my water broke. 1:00am calling Kate to meet us at the birth center. I never made it to 3:59am but I woke up this morning to the most beautiful child grinning at me and I held him close thinking of all this year has taught me.
I feel like I’ve shared a lot in the past few weeks about the relationship I have with my son and how he has dramatically and wonderfully impacted my life. Instead of writing a post today from my point of view on his birthday, I asked some very important people in his life to share a few words, a favorite memory, or a story about him on his first birthday. As you can imagine, they had a lot to say - so much, in fact, that they would fill this blog for several pages if I posted them all in full. So instead, I’m printing them out and putting them away for him to read when he gets older. I’ve pulled a favorite line or two from each of their letters to share here today:
You are THE Jordan man… live wide open, laugh out loud, love with abandon and prosper. ~ Papa Allen
I adore your happy “out loud” laughter and watching you swing your legs on the swing. We can not wait to watch you grow and climb the fort at the park. ~Mimi Mary & Gigi Peg
We cannot wait to show you and Everly the farm. We cannot wait to show you how to milk a cow and collect the chickens’ eggs and plant crooked rows of carrots and make up for a whole year apart. ~Nick & Kate
There is something about you, Arlo that is special. It is something more than your loving and happy nature. It is undefinable, and yet I know in my heart you are destined for great things! ~ BopBop Rick
My favorite moments are when I am holding you right after you give into sleep. Before I lay you down I hold you just a little longer to take in your sweet spirit and enjoy those few extra moments with you. ~Grammy Cathy
As a mother, I never thought that you could love anyone else more than your own children… Nana was wrong. I thank God every night for the unconditional love and the new life that He has given me through all of you. ~Nana Debbie
Papa Wayne thinks you are the most awesome thing ever. Being a physician, he smiles and says, “Arlo & I have a medical connection and I think that he feels a safeness with me” ~shared by Nana about your relationship with Papa Wayne.
We were on a vacation in Mexico - sitting in a cyber cafe and a gchat from your mommy popped up on my screen…with news that she couldn’t hold in, of YOU! From then, to the first moment I saw your white peach fuzz covered little head, and saw that HUGE smile and those amazingly bright eyes and through the future days were we will watch you, EV, Mylah, and Benji go off to schools, jobs, loves - you’ll always be a part of our family too. You are so strong and you’ve reminded us all how precious life is. You are a magic boy, and you sir, will rule the world! All our unconditional love to you, perfect boy. ~The Gainers
Arlo, my little magic man, i love to watch you unravel this world with excitement and wonder. i had no idea how much i desperately needed you in my life before you were born…you are every bit as full and bright in spirit as that great big moon was on that blessed night one year ago today… Im so proud of you.
~Daddy
Happy First Birthday to our Arlo Redding! You are SO loved!
~M
May 16, 2012
I never thought I would make it to a full year of breastfeeding my son. I remember looking down at him when he was four months old, right around the same age that I stopped nursing his older sister and thinking “I hope I can nurse him to six months… I hope I can make it that long” It felt so far away and there were a lot of obstacles to getting there.
Breastfeeding has been a strange journey. One with so many ups and downs. When Arlo was born, I had a crazy oversupply that when paired with his reflux, made for a really sad, challenging, frustrating experience every time he needed to eat. I saw a lactation specialist several times trying to figure out why my son was choking and vomiting so frequently during his feedings and for the first three months of his life, nursing him meant latching him and unlatching over and over again, every 5-10 seconds to limit the amount of milk he was getting so he wouldn’t choke. I remember realizing how lucky I had been in my nursing experience with Everly when feeding was just putting a baby to my breast and watching her happily eat and when I wanted to feel sorry for myself in my current predicament, I just kept reminding myself how fortunate I was to have any milk at all.
Speaking of Everly…. my nursing relationship with my first born had ended rather abruptly after a string of work trips that took me away for several days at a time. She grew to prefer a bottle over me. My supply suffered. I hated pumping and I threw in the towel. I won’t say that I’ve ever regretted the decision to stop when I did, but I have wondered how long it might have lasted had I tried other options before giving it up.
I gave myself the six month goal with Arlo before he was even born but once he was in my arms, I soon became obsessed with the idea. At ten days old, Arlo saw his first specialist and over the course of the next 4 months, we met with a total of 5 different doctors who all diagnosed our son with various conditions. My head was spinning and I was scared at what this all meant for him. It felt like all we ever heard was bad news and there was nothing I could do to fix him.
But I could nurse him. It became the thing that I devoted myself to. I was determined that no matter what, as long as my body was able, I would nurse my son exclusively until he was six months old, even though I had to return to work just before he hit the three month mark. I pumped twice a day at work, I worried constantly over how small my backup supply was in the freezer and once, Brent even had to turn around and drive an hour home from a day visit with family because he had forgotten the breastmilk I had pumped for him to take along.
The oversupply issue finally worked itself out, but I faced a new one with my travel schedule with work. I found myself pumping in public restrooms in NYC. In the Toronto airport. In restaurant bathroom stalls in Dallas. In the car on the way home from the office. I carried my breast pump bag alongside my laptop bag everywhere I went. I learned to call hotels in advance to request a mini fridge in my room. I knew the drill for carrying 50+ ounces of milk through a TSA security checkpoint. And to block out 30 minute time periods on my calendar so that I could sneak off to the nursing mother’s room. It became part of my daily work life.
And it brought on a new kind of challenge and frustration - but I clung to it. It was the one thing I could do to benefit him that all of his specialists and medicines could not do. By the six month mark, we had found our stride and we sailed past the milestone with barely an acknowledgement of our accomplishment. By eight months of nursing, I began to warm to the idea that we might actually be able to do this long term - we might make it to a year or longer! We also introduced a bottle of formula here or there to ease the constant worry I had over keeping enough of a stored supply and it allowed me to enjoy the experience more without worrying if I needed to drive home on my lunch break to bring home extra breastmilk every day.
Tomorrow, we will have doubled that initial goal of six months. As my baby boy turns one, we mark the anniversary of the very first time I nursed him. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done but I am distinctly aware of just how lucky I am to have been able to do this at all. Breastfeeding my son has been part of my own personal healing of the fear and worry that we dealt with in the first year of his life. It kept me focused on a goal and it made me feel like I was contributing something specific and beneficial towards his health.
All of the specialists have come and gone (except for one) and we’re down to one medicine a day. Many of Arlo’s physical challenges have been resolved and at the same time, our nursing relationship has finally become this comfortable, unspoken ritual for us. As I fight back the tears that come with watching my son turn one and head into a new phase of independence and self discovery, I find myself again, feeling grateful for this connection that allows him to stay that baby in my arms for a little longer.
Who knows if I will ever get the opportunity to nurse another child or how long my nursing relationship with Arlo will last - today, I am just reflecting on what this experience has provided for me. Not everyone gets to go down this road, and those that do don’t always get to stay very long - so I feel like the appropriate thing to do at this point is just to sit back, enjoy the warmth and weight of this growing boy against my body and see where it leads us next.
Love,
M
May 15, 2012
Everly is known as the “hugger” everywhere she goes. At school, at church, at the park, amongst cousins and friends. She is a super affectionate kid, and as I’ve mentioned in the past - her full body lovefest is not always welcome. We are constantly reminding her to respect other children’s wishes regarding personal space.
But when it comes to little brothers… all bets are off. Arlo is Everly’s number one target for her affections. It often seems that she is under his spell as much as Brent and I when it comes to soaking in his cuteness. She will get right up next to him, bite down on her own lip as if she is trying to contain herself, and then wrap her arms around him and plant a big kiss on his cheek. “HE IS CUTE!” she will squeak at me in her little voice and then back she goes to kissing him again
Arlo always laughs and giggles when she does this, and even more recently has started to greet her with a wide open, slobbery kiss of his own. I think being totally comfortable with constant in-your-face loving is the sort of thing you only get to experience as a younger sibling- when all you’ve ever known since the minute you opened your eyes is another little person patting your head and hugging your body into theirs and giving you open mouth kisses all of the time.
He doesn’t get much personal space around these parts, but he definitely gets more than his share of affection. Gives new meaning to the term “tough love”, I suppose.
Love,
M
May 14, 2012
The Places We Go.
1. Leicester, NC.
2. 3. 4. 5. Asheville, NC
6. 7. 8. 9. Blue Ridge Parkway between Asheville & Spruce Pine, NC
10. 11. 12. 13. Todd, NC
We spent the last 9 days wandering across the North Carolina mountains, visiting friends and family and just being generally awestruck at the beauty of our state. We hit up our favorite restaurants and vintage shops in the charming city of Asheville. We took a 2 hour drive down the magestic Blue Ridge Parkway. And we finished the week with a stay in a charming little cabin in Todd, NC. I know I sound like a tourism advertisement right now, but if you’ve never visited the mountains of North Carolina, it needs to be added to your list. We are so lucky to live near such a magical place.
Love,
M
