(On a trip to Target to pick out a special prize for being well behaved. Arlo had already chosen a toy motorcycle and we were browsing the doll aisle)
Everly: Mama, instead of a toy, can I pick out a new pair of shoes?
Me: Shoes instead of a toy? Are you sure?
Everly: Yes. Sparkly ones. They need to have sparkles.
Me: This is proof we are soul mates.
(While watching a Disney commercial that featured a little boy who was talking about his heritage. He looked into the camera and said, “I’m Native American, Irish American and African American”)
Everly’s response: Whoa! That’s a lot of Americans!
“A man just ran by that window NAY TED (naked)!!!”
Said our daughter, who gave us quite a fright, until we realized she had confused the meaning of being naked with someone not wearing a shirt.
(To the nurse at our pediatricians office, while standing on the scale, and in the sweetest most innocent voice you can imagine)
Everly: When I….(pauses and blinks her sweet little doe eyes up at the nurse) …When I grow up, I get a knife!!
At this point, the nurse looks up at us like, what kind of devil spawn child do you have here? We had to explain the backstory. Everly knows that she is too little to use a knife when we eat, so she has begun to use it as a measurement of age. Like “Mama, is that girl old enough to use a knife?” It has become one of those off-limits things that she is eager to be old enough to do, like crossing the street without holding our hands or getting her ears pierced. Every time she sees me cutting up her food she says, “One day I’m going to do that myself!” It is sure to be a joyous day in our household when she finally gets to cut her own steak!
__________________
(To my grandfather, interrupting a conversation we were having about raising chickens. She walks straight up to him, puts her hands on his knee and says very loudly and confidently)
Everly: My favorite thing is to be nay-ted (naked) with the chickens!
My grandfather, who wears a hearing aid, looked over at me, unsure if he heard her right. I laughed and had to explain that last summer when we went to Vermont, Everly spent an afternoon playing in the garden among the chickens and for some reason, that experience -out of all we did that week, has stood out as a favorite memory. Whenever anyone brings up chickens, she has to talk about her naked afternoon.
Having been witness to the reactions she gets when she says these funny comments out of context makes me wonder just how much she is telling her preschool teachers that we are not there to explain! With all this knife infatuation and nudist chicken loving, it’s possible they think we are total wackos.
Has your child ever said anything out of context that left you fumbling to explain? Oh the mouths of babes!
Love,
M
Everly: Mimi, can I have some milk?
Mimi: What’s the magic word?
Everly: Abracadabra?
Mimi: (laughing) I was looking for please.
Everly: Mama, next time I see Santa, I’m going to ask him for a tv in my bedroom.
Me: Everly, we’re not even going to consider the possibility of you having a television in your room until you are at least a teenager.
Everly: Well, I’m a little teenager.
Me: I can’t argue with that.
(During bedtime prayers)
Everly: God bless the mean people
Me: The mean people?
Everly: Yes. God help them to be happy.
Me: That’s very sweet of you
Everly: And also, God bless the crocodiles because they are grumpy too.
(While watching me pack for a work trip, she holds up my bra.)
Everly: “Mama, are you gonna take your boobie overalls?”
(While watching a music video)
Everly: “Daddy, look at that lady’s face!”
Brent: “Baby, that’s not a lady. That’s Mick Jagger”
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