Dear Baby

And Then He Was One.

Thu, 17 May 2012 15:25:00 -0400

Arlo was born a year ago today, at 3:59am. His birth will forever be one of my bravest, most powerful accomplishments. Last night I found myself retracing the places I was last year. 9:30pm - thinking I’d be pregnant forever. Midnight - my first contraction 12:30am- my water broke. 1:00am calling Kate to meet us at the birth center. I never made it to 3:59am but I woke up this morning to the most beautiful child grinning at me and I held him close thinking of all this year has taught me.

I feel like I’ve shared a lot in the past few weeks about the relationship I have with my son and how he has dramatically and wonderfully impacted my life. Instead of writing a post today from my point of view on his birthday, I asked some very important people in his life to share a few words, a favorite memory, or a story about him on his first birthday. As you can imagine, they had a lot to say - so much, in fact, that they would fill this blog for several pages if I posted them all in full. So instead, I’m printing them out and putting them away for him to read when he gets older. I’ve pulled a favorite line or two from each of their letters to share here today:

You are THE Jordan man… live wide open, laugh out loud, love with abandon and prosper. ~ Papa Allen

I adore your happy “out loud” laughter and watching you swing your legs on the swing. We can not wait to watch you grow and climb the fort at the park. ~Mimi & Gigi

We cannot wait to show you and Everly the farm. We cannot wait to show you how to milk a cow and collect the chickens’ eggs and plant crooked rows of carrots and make up for a whole year apart. ~Nick & Kate

There is something about you, Arlo that is special. It is something more than your loving and happy nature. It is undefinable, and yet I know in my heart you are destined for great things! ~ BopBop Rick

My favorite moments are when I am holding you right after you give into sleep. Before I lay you down I hold you just a little longer to take in your sweet spirit and enjoy those few extra moments with you. ~Grammy Cathy

As a mother, I never thought that you could love anyone else more than your own children… Nana was wrong. I thank God every night for the unconditional love and the new life that He has given me through all of you. ~Nana Debbie

Papa Wayne thinks you are the most awesome thing ever. Being a physician, he smiles and says, “Arlo & I have a medical connection and I think that he feels a safeness with me” ~shared by Nana about your relationship with Papa Wayne.

We were on a vacation in Mexico - sitting in a cyber cafe and a gchat from your mommy popped up on my screen…with news that she couldn’t hold in, of YOU! From then, to the first moment I saw your white peach fuzz covered little head, and saw that HUGE smile and those amazingly bright eyes and through the future days were we will watch you, EV, Mylah, and Benji go off to schools, jobs, loves - you’ll always be a part of our family too. You are so strong and you’ve reminded us all how precious life is. You are a magic boy, and you sir, will rule the world! All our unconditional love to you, perfect boy. ~The Gainers

Arlo, my little magic man, i love to watch you unravel this world with excitement and wonder. i had no idea how much i desperately needed you in my life before you were born…you are every bit as full and bright in spirit as that great big moon was on that blessed night one year ago today… Im so proud of you.

~Daddy

Happy First Birthday to our Arlo Redding! You are SO loved!

I never thought I would make it to a full year of breastfeeding...

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:47:00 -0400

I never thought I would make it to a full year of breastfeeding my son. I remember looking down at him when he was four months old, right around the same age that I stopped nursing his older sister and thinking “I hope I can nurse him to six months… I hope I can make it that long” It felt so far away and there were a lot of obstacles to getting there.

Breastfeeding has been a strange journey. One with so many ups and downs. When Arlo was born, I had a crazy oversupply that when paired with his reflux, made for a really sad, challenging, frustrating experience every time he needed to eat. I saw a lactation specialist several times trying to figure out why my son was choking and vomiting so frequently during his feedings and for the first three months of his life, nursing him meant latching him and unlatching over and over again, every 5-10 seconds to limit the amount of milk he was getting so he wouldn’t choke. I remember realizing how lucky I had been in my nursing experience with Everly when feeding was just putting a baby to my breast and watching her happily eat and when I wanted to feel sorry for myself in my current predicament, I just kept reminding myself how fortunate I was to have any milk at all.

Speaking of Everly…. my nursing relationship with my first born had ended rather abruptly after a string of work trips that took me away for several days at a time. She grew to prefer a bottle over me. My supply suffered. I hated pumping and I threw in the towel. I won’t say that I’ve ever regretted the decision to stop when I did, but I have wondered how long it might have lasted had I tried other options before giving it up.

I gave myself the six month goal with Arlo before he was even born but once he was in my arms, I soon became obsessed with the idea. At ten days old, Arlo saw his first specialist and over the course of the next 4 months, we met with a total of 5 different doctors who all diagnosed our son with various conditions. My head was spinning and I was scared at what this all meant for him. It felt like all we ever heard was bad news and there was nothing I could do to fix him.

But I could nurse him. It became the thing that I devoted myself to. I was determined that no matter what, as long as my body was able, I would nurse my son exclusively until he was six months old, even though I had to return to work just before he hit the three month mark. I pumped twice a day at work, I worried constantly over how small my backup supply was in the freezer and once, Brent even had to turn around and drive an hour home from a day visit with family because he had forgotten the breastmilk I had pumped for him to take along.

The oversupply issue finally worked itself out, but I faced a new one with my travel schedule with work. I found myself pumping in public restrooms in NYC. In the Toronto airport. In restaurant bathroom stalls in Dallas. In the car on the way home from the office. I carried my breast pump bag alongside my laptop bag everywhere I went. I learned to call hotels in advance to request a mini fridge in my room. I knew the drill for carrying 50+ ounces of milk through a TSA security checkpoint. And to block out 30 minute time periods on my calendar so that I could sneak off to the nursing mother’s room. It became part of my daily work life.

And it brought on a new kind of challenge and frustration - but I clung to it. It was the one thing I could do to benefit him that all of his specialists and medicines could not do. By the six month mark, we had found our stride and we sailed past the milestone with barely an acknowledgement of our accomplishment. By eight months of nursing, I began to warm to the idea that we might actually be able to do this long term - we might make it to a year or longer! We also introduced a bottle of formula here or there to ease the constant worry I had over keeping enough of a stored supply and it allowed me to enjoy the experience more without worrying if I needed to drive home on my lunch break to bring home extra breastmilk every day.

Tomorrow, we will have doubled that initial goal of six months. As my baby boy turns one, we mark the anniversary of the very first time I nursed him. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done but I am distinctly aware of just how lucky I am to have been able to do this at all. Breastfeeding my son has been part of my own personal healing of the fear and worry that we dealt with in the first year of his life. It kept me focused on a goal and it made me feel like I was contributing something specific and beneficial towards his health.

All of the specialists have come and gone (except for one) and we’re down to one medicine a day. Many of Arlo’s physical challenges have been resolved and at the same time, our nursing relationship has finally become this comfortable, unspoken ritual for us. As I fight back the tears that come with watching my son turn one and head into a new phase of independence and self discovery, I find myself again, feeling grateful for this connection that allows him to stay that baby in my arms for a little longer.

Who knows if I will ever get the opportunity to nurse another child or how long my nursing relationship with Arlo will last - today, I am just reflecting on what this experience has provided for me. Not everyone gets to go down this road, and those that do don’t always get to stay very long - so I feel like the appropriate thing to do at this point is just to sit back, enjoy the warmth and weight of this growing boy against my body and see where it leads us next.

Love,

Everly is known as the “hugger” everywhere she goes....

Tue, 15 May 2012 09:28:00 -0400

Everly is known as the “hugger” everywhere she goes. At school, at church, at the park, amongst cousins and friends. She is a super affectionate kid, and as I’ve mentioned in the past - her full body lovefest is not always welcome. We are constantly reminding her to respect other children’s wishes regarding personal space.

But when it comes to little brothers… all bets are off. Arlo is Everly’s number one target for her affections. It often seems that she is under his spell as much as Brent and I when it comes to soaking in his cuteness. She will get right up next to him, bite down on her own lip as if she is trying to contain herself, and then wrap her arms around him and plant a big kiss on his cheek. “HE IS CUTE!” she will squeak at me in her little voice and then back she goes to kissing him again

Arlo always laughs and giggles when she does this, and even more recently has started to greet her with a wide open, slobbery kiss of his own. I think being totally comfortable with constant in-your-face loving is the sort of thing you only get to experience as a younger sibling- when all you’ve ever known since the minute you opened your eyes is another little person patting your head and hugging your body into theirs and giving you open mouth kisses all of the time.

He doesn’t get much personal space around these parts, but he definitely gets more than his share of affection. Gives new meaning to the term “tough love”, I suppose.

Love,

The Places We Go.

Mon, 14 May 2012 10:30:08 -0400

1. Leicester, NC.

2. 3. 4. 5. Asheville, NC

6. 7. 8. 9. Blue Ridge Parkway between Asheville & Spruce Pine, NC

10. 11. 12. 13. Todd, NC

We spent the last 9 days wandering across the North Carolina mountains, visiting friends and family and just being generally awestruck at the beauty of our state. We hit up our favorite restaurants and vintage shops in the charming city of Asheville. We took a 2 hour drive down the magestic Blue Ridge Parkway. And we finished the week with a stay in a charming little cabin in Todd, NC. I know I sound like a tourism advertisement right now, but if you’ve never visited the mountains of North Carolina, it needs to be added to your list. We are so lucky to live near such a magical place.

Love,

Mother's Day

Sun, 13 May 2012 17:34:00 -0400

This blog is one big, constant list of what motherhood has come to mean to me. I’ve talked endlessly about how motherhood has changed me. How it has made me love louder. How this journey has humbled me and made me a braver, better version of myself.

So while my day has consisted of little arms wrapped around my legs, tiny heads cradled in the crook of my arm, and all the focus of my little family thanking me for the mama things I do, I feel like I’m the one with a debt to pay. I’m the one who should be scribbling crayon love notes and bringing home flowers and laying the kisses on thick.

To my Everlv Veda. My Arlo Redding. My darling, Brent. You are the best parts of my life. My favorite everything. Motherhood has been my greatest adventure and I owe the three of you so much for allowing me the chance to become one.

And to all of the mothers out there who are looking out at the family they’ve made with gratitude and pride… for those of you counting your lucky stars as I am today… Happiest of Mother’s Days to you!

Love,

This one of Everly is actually a couple months old, but I just...

Thu, 10 May 2012 09:02:18 -0400

This one of Everly is actually a couple months old, but I just found it while looking at some old video. I’ll have to try to catch her singing it again sometime soon, but this one was just so so sweet.

Love,

Thought I’d post some sweet, short videos of the kids this...

Thu, 10 May 2012 08:59:36 -0400

Thought I’d post some sweet, short videos of the kids this morning. This one of Arlo on the swing puts me in the best mood.

Love,

And the Greatest of These is Love...

Wed, 09 May 2012 13:07:00 -0400

Pictured: My two best chances.

Feeling more than a little crushed that Amendment one passed in North Carolina last night. For a girl who sure loves to put things into word, I am struggling to find the right ones today. It just makes me all the more determined to raise my children to stand up for equality and to speak up when they know someone is being harmed.

Brent and I know that Everly and Arlo are the greatest tools God has given us to spread the beauty of His Grace. He has tasked us with the responsibility of molding and shaping them into adults. It is our role as parents to teach them to protect and fight for the downtrodden and the outcast and to pray that someone does the same for them should they ever fall into that category.

God’s love is not shown in the person who knows the most bible verses. It is not felt in the person who casts judgments on who is worthy and who is not. It is not spread with the removal of basic rights for our neighbors. God’s love grows when we live it in action. When we share His word through our encounters with others, through our charity, our forgiveness, and through sacrifice.

We spread His love when we give, not when we take.

Melissa

Vote NO on Amendment One

Tue, 08 May 2012 09:45:00 -0400

I would not be true to myself if I did not write today about the subject that is front and center on my heart. Today is May 8th, the day that North Carolinians will be voting on whether or not to approve the constitutional amendment to define marriage between one man and one women as the only legal union in our state.

If this amendment passes, it will mean that thousands of unmarried couples in our state will lose their rights to make health related decisions for their partners, and to healthcare benefits for their families. It can strip away domestic violence protections (a similar amendment did so in Ohio). It will take away many rights that our fellow citizens hold today. This amendment will effect young professionals and the elderly. Gay and straight partnerships. End of life and custody rights. It will directly impact thousands of children whose parents are not married. But there is a good chance this amendment will pass - Why? Because of the implications it has for the gay and lesbian community in North Carolina.

Gay marriage is already illegal in North Carolina but this amendment, if it passes, will ensure that the LGBT community will not have the rights associated with civil unions or domestic partnerships either.

I think about how this amendment will impact my children. I can not predict who they will grow up to love. I can not predict if or when they will get married or have children of their own - and it is my duty as their mother to do everything in my power to vote against an amendment that could impact their future rights.

And I want to speak for a moment to my fellow believers in Christ - Since so many of you are being led to vote based off your Christian beliefs. God gave His children free will so that we could make our own choices. He also gave us His word to guide our lives. Today, these scriptures are weighing so deeply on me:

Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

and this one

Romans 13:10: Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

and especially this one:

Peter 4:8: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

I implore you, fellow North Carolinians - please do not take away the rights of our fellow citizens. Regardless of your views on gay marriage, voting for an amendment that strips away basic rights that thousands of NC citizens hold today is not loving our neighbors. It is not protecting the weak, the minority, “the least of these”. It is a deeply flawed piece of legislation that will impact future generations - potentially your children and mine. I hope that love will lead you at the polls today.

Melissa

Kerianne Gets Married.

Mon, 07 May 2012 11:17:35 -0400

One of my beautiful friends, Kerianne, became a wife this past weekend. It was a dreamy wedding on the side of a mountain outside Asheville, NC. Kerianne and her groom, Adam put so much time and detail into their big day - there was handmade loveliness everywhere you looked. She also was hands down, one of the most beautiful brides I have ever seen - love looks so good on her.

Kerianne’s wedding was also a chance for me to catch up with some of my closest friends, a few of which now live hours away. My friend Rebecca, is expecting her first child (a little girl) in July so Natasha and I loved talking babies with her. It’s such a wonderful journey to see these “girls” I share so many memories of my twenties with turn into amazing wives and mothers.

Brent and I will celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary this year. It feels like only yesterday that we were up there- holding hands and saying “forever and ever”. We held hands tightly during the ceremony, danced our feet off at the reception and talked about little memories from our wedding day. It was so nice to celebrate the next chapters in the lives of our dear friends and to reminisce with my husband a little on our own experiences together.

Hooray for love!

Unbridled Joy & Light.

Thu, 03 May 2012 10:41:00 -0400

Photo: Sharing her ice cream drips with our dog Bailey on a hot afternoon.

Watching my daughter interact with the world has made me hyper aware to just how much we are affected and molded by our interactions with others. Everly is at the age where everyone is a friend. She approaches everyone she encounters as if they are on this on earth solely to hold her hand or dance or play chase with her. Can you imagine how amazing the world must look with that point of view?

I watch her engage with children when we are out and I’m amazed with how easily she interacts with them. No reservations. No concerns about how she will be received. She has no concept of rejection or exclusion. Often she will walk up to a little girl around 5 or 6 and just take her hand. It usually catches the older child off guard and they will stand there, frozen for a moment, while they try to decide what to do about this tiny, smiling little girl who is tightly gripping their hand or has wrapped them in a bear hug.

Sometimes they pull away, clearly uncomfortable. Other times they will warm to her and smile back. When they make it clear that her affections are not wanted, I step in and remind Everly that sometimes people like their personal space and let’s take a step back. But while I never want to make another child feel uncomfortable, there is a part of me that just marvels at the innocent way she hands out loves so gratuitously.

One day the world will teach her that you can’t go around hugging everyone whenever the desire hits. That making new friends isn’t as easy as taking the hand of the girl in line next to you and smiling up at her. That not everyone will like you or will want to dance in circles with you until you get dizzy. And it saddens me some to think a few of these lessons will be learned before she even enters school.

She is the purest of pure right now. A little sponge for life. Soaking in all the most authentic and happy parts and reflecting it out into the world. She is rose colored glasses in flesh and blood. Walking love. Part of growing up is learning the rules and standards of our society. What is acceptable and what parts of ourselves we should harness - but in this moment, she is everything the world will one day try to contain - unbridled joy and light. I’m amazed daily at how much she has taught me about what it means to live and what it looks like to fearlessly give yourself over to the pleasure of being alive.

Love,

Sick kids = no blogging. Hope this bug clears out soon. ...

Tue, 01 May 2012 15:27:20 -0400

Sick kids = no blogging. Hope this bug clears out soon.

Love,
M

Redefining Date Night

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:38:00 -0400

Alone time with Brent is a rare bird around these parts. Sure we get a few hours in the evening after the kids are in bed, but with so many other things requiring our attention (household chores, emails, side projects, SLEEP!) we don’t often get time to just be together.

In the past few weeks, we’ve somehow (miraculously) found ourselves with several opportunities to enjoy a little one on one time. We’ve been calling them “dates” although they have been a far cry from the romantic dinners and exciting adventures of years past.

Two weeks ago, we sent both children off to the grandparents overnight so that we could put up a picket fence in our front yard. It’s something we’ve been wanting to do since we bought the place. We couldn’t afford to hire someone to do it, plus we really love the pride and accomplishment in improving our house with our own two hands - so we set our sights on a sunny weekend to get it done.

We borrowed my dad’s old red farm truck and spent the day collecting supplies, measuring, leveling, digging, and putting screws into wood. We worked in the sun with bluegrass blaring. It was team work in a completely different role than we were used to and we both kept teasing each other and smiling whenever we caught eyes.

By Sunday afternoon, we had fenced in our entire front yard (We still need to cut down the posts to size and paint it white!). We ate our lunches and dinners together on the tailgate of the old pickup while we smacked mosquitoes off our legs. We were hot, tired, and dirty but really enjoyed those two days of working towards a goal together. As silly as it sounds, every day when I come home from work and walk through that little gate, I have found myself smiling- Thinking about how much I enjoyed the time Brent and I spent together putting it up.

Last night, my dad and stepmom offered to come over and watch the kids so that Brent and I could run an errand. I can’t remember the last time we went to the mall together (or if we’ve ever been to the mall together?!?) but we were on the hunt for the perfect, lightweight suit for him to wear to the several weddings we have coming up this summer. We spent most of our time in dressing rooms with me insisting that he button the top button on his dress shirt and him scoffing at the cost of a sport coat. We laughed at the shoes they gave him to try on with it. And about how he didn’t wear socks. And also how his taste in suits was much more 1970’s Caddy Shack and mine was 1960’s Mad Men. I snapped a photo of him in the suit we ended up purchasing because he looked so incredibly handsome in it (What IS it about a man in a suit?!?) and we were in and out pretty quick. We didn’t even stop to have dinner before we headed home.

We joke about what our life has become…. about how our pre-parent selves would have scoffed at what our “dates” look like these days. But in some weird way, there is still a lot of romance to be found in the ordinary. Even if it’s just a long day of fence building or suit shopping together- As crazy as that sounds. We are still learning to adjust to our new world of parenting little ones, but the fact remains that we will always be old friends. We’ll take any opportunity (even the mundane ones) to relish in that time alone, together.

Love,

Bloggers for Birth Kits

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 14:38:00 -0400

Did you know that the maternal death rate of women in Papua New Guinea is 1 in 7? That’s a pretty shocking statistic. A mama friend of mine, Adriel, is leading the charge to collect ” clean birth kits” through an organization called Medical Ships to get life saving birth kits into the hands of women in PNG. Birth kits can play a crucial role in ensuring that every mother in the regions has access to the appropriate supplies that can keep her and her baby free of birth related infections and injuries.

So what’s in a birth kit? Really basic stuff. The sort of supplies you can pick up at any drug or home improvement store.

Things as basic as soap, gloves and a razor blade can be the difference between life and death for these women. It’s amazing that such a simple list of supplies can have a huge impact on the lives of women and families in rural Papua New Guinea.

Adriel has put out the call to women everywhere, asking for their support and aid in getting these birth kits to the women who need them most. She shares all the details on how to donate money to help them buy supplies or how to make your own kits to send over on her blog.

Our family will be contributing to this important work and I’m helping to spread the word via my blog and I hope that you will consider doing the same. Even if you are not able to contribute financially, simply reblogging this post on tumblr, tweeting or sharing a link to her blog on your facebook page or on your own blog can work wonders in helping spread the support for their mission.

As it stands today, one in seven mothers in rural Papua New Guinea will not live to know the joy of motherhood. A child will grow up without a mother… but together, we can change that. Please visit Adriel’s blog The Mommyhood Memos to learn more.

Love,

Big Shoes.

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 10:20:32 -0400

There is a photo somewhere, lost in the sea of family albums in a trunk at my grandparent’s house. It’s me, in my grandfather’s cowboy boots. I’m about Everly’s age and I’m wearing a t-shirt and a diaper. It’s one of my favorite photos and I’ve searched for it several times in the past few years.There is just something particularly poignant about a small child in their father’s (or grandfather’s) boots.

Everly has a good time in my shoes on a regular basis. She’s actually mastered shuffling her tiny feet across the house in my high heels with impressive ease. But this weekend was the first time I’ve seen her put on Brent’s cowboy boots.

Watching her step gingerly into each one and balance herself in the tall boots was an instant flashback to that lost photo from my past. Another little girl in the boots of a man in her life who will always love and protect her. Just as I did, she has big shoes to fill. A lifetime of handed down lessons await her.

I never tire of re-living the moments of my own childhood through my children. The infinite loop of past and present. It’s one of my very favorite things.

Love,

Flashback.

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:48:00 -0400

I love looking back through my archives and seeing what was happening in our lives in years past. Two years ago today, we were visiting one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. Some much beloved friends invited us to join them at their private winery and ranch in the wine country of Northern California. We still talk about how lucky we were to experience the magic of the ranch on a regular basis. It was a trip I will never forget .

Tiny Everly! eeeek!

The stuff of dreams!

Love,

The Impact of His Existence.

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 10:26:00 -0400

(Arlo, in a little romper our friend Lia brought him from Spain last year. I’ve run my hands over it a dozen times as it hung in his closet, eagerly awaiting the day it would fit.)

I’m having a really hard time with getting my head around the fact that Arlo turns a year old next month. I have a lot to say about his milestone of turning one, but have yet to give myself the opportunity to sit down and let the force that comes with releasing the emotional dam overtake me. I knew my life would never be the same after the birth of Everly, my firstborn. I assumed a second baby would just build on what I had already learned.

I never anticipated that this sweet, blue eyed, little boy would knock me back down to my foundation. That I would have to learn everything differently and all over again. That parenting him would force me to re-evaluate and redefine everything I thought I knew about love and patience and being a mother. Everything about him has been unexpected and wondrous.

Less than one month is left until the anniversary of our first meeting. A few fleeting weeks of textbook babyhood remain and I find myself digging my heels into the core of this experience- Trying to slow the train before we head into our next adventure. Arlo has proven to be one of God’s most impactful tools for learning in my life. His lessons unavoidable and shockingly beautiful.

Love,

Work Clothes/Play Clothes

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 09:32:00 -0400

I’ve slacked off all month on taking wardrobe photos. I had some outfits I REALLY loved since my last fashion post, but never managed to photograph. All of the outfits in this set are from the last week. I’m just so happy for spring time temperatures and wearing dresses without tights. I used to hate being fair skinned but with every year that passes, I like it more and more. For years, I would refuse to wear shorts or skirts in the spring until I got a little color, but now I totally embrace it.

Work Clothes.

Please ignore the HUMONGOUS bags under my eyes. We’ve been hit or miss with Arlo’s overnight sleeping. Some nights we’re getting 7 hours straight, other nights, it’s an every 2 hour wake up. Look at my face and then take a wild guess how the night before went. yikes!

I decided to compensate for my foggy state of mind with a big pop of color. Bright blue and electric pink - this outfit was really fun. I’m crazy over these heels! I want to wear them next time paired with a little black dress.

Cardigan: ASOS

Music Sounds Better With You Dress: c/o Francesca’s Collections

Heels: Nine West

Work Clothes. I keep wanting to call this my Minnie Mouse top, even though it’s the wrong color. The polka dots and lace collar are just so Minnie, it’s not even funny (And writing this makes me realize I’ve watched way too much Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with a certain toddler). I belted it because the shape is a little boxy for my liking.

I debated if I should say something about all of the crap in the photo behind me. Sort of like pointing out a zit on your face that no one notices until you call it out - but I think in this case, it’s sort of hard to ignore. My mother in law brought us this gorgeous potter’s bench for our porch so we relocated our big red J. But instead of filling it with pretty potted plants as I had envisioned, it’s become the catch all for toys and shoes and any other random thing that gets discarded between the yard and the house. Eeek! It’s driving me nuts - I need to clean it out. So this is the only photo I took in front of it.

Top: Zulily.com

Belt: vintage

Jeans: Big Star

Bag: c/o Francesca’s Collections

Heels: Restricted Paula Wedges

Work Clothes. I liked this outfit so much, I actually wore it as play clothes this week too. Kut from the Kloth sent me this top recently and I was really eager to style it up. I’m not usually a button down sort of girl, but this one was so soft & the colorful plaid was so pretty that I could have worn it every day. Also, Arlo’s face in the photo…. it makes me want to devour him. nom nom nom.

Top: c/o Kut from the Kloth

Jeans: Levi’s

Heels: Target (last season)

On Arlo:

Shirt: Under The Nile

Pants: H&M

Shoes: New Balance

Work Clothes. Have you guys met my cat, Ellie Belle? She doesn’t get the love she deserves on this blog. I got her when I was 20 years old and she has lived in a half dozen different places with me. When we moved to SF, she stayed with family because she’s mainly outdoor & that wouldn’t work with our living situation in the city. As soon as we moved back to Raleigh, Ellie came home & has recently decided that she wants in on the fashion show action. She’s an awesomely chill, overweight, and quirky cat.

I’m so bad at getting off topic in this fashion posts, aren’t I? Sooooo… this outfit. yeah, I totally loved it. It was really comfortable and I felt good in it.

Striped top: French Connection

Skirt: A recent keep from my Stitch Fix package. Do you know about Stitch Fix? For $20 a month, they send a package of clothes to your door based off your personal style preferences. You get to try everything on in your own home, then you send back what you don’t want & they only charge you for what you keep (plus the $20 they charge you goes towards your purchase if you buy something). It’s been hit or miss for me. A few packages I sent back without buying anything, but this skirt was a big win & has become a regular staple in my closet. Stitch Fix is a neat service and kind of a no-brainer for those who don’t have time to shop in stores but are wary of buying things online without trying them on first.

Play Clothes. I wish you could see the totally gorgeous back of this top in this photo. It has a pretty, open, cut out pattern and then buttons all the way down. I stuck my head into a cute little boutique near my house last week & at only $35, I had to take it home with me. Vestique is owned by two young, NC State grads (Go Wolfpack!) who have turned what was once a little online clothing shop into a successful business with a physical store in Raleigh and one coming soon to Charlotte. It was my first visit to their shop, but most definitely will not be my last. I wore this outfit to run some errands and hit up the local flea market with a girlfriend.

Top: Rung by Rung top, Vestique (also comes in aqua blue!)

Jeans: Big Star

Necklace: Beaded Beauty in Turquoise, Vestique

Booties: BC Shoes

On Arlo:

Tank: Broken Tricycle

Pants: (hand me down) Gap Baby

Skull Slippers: Zulily

Hat: (hand me down) Zara Kids

Play Clothes. Day two of this necklace and…. Ellie’s back again. As you can see, she’s been working on her model face. I wore this outfit to church. I want to write a long, dramatic eulogy to this cardigan as I decided today it is now time to send it off to the great walk in closet in the sky. It’s missing a button, has several small holes and is just stretched out and kind of weird fitting now. This cardigan has probably made more appearances on my blog than anything else in my closet. I have really loved it to pieces.

This outfit feels a lot preppier than I usually dress, but I thought it looked very fresh and springy. I felt feminine and happy in this outfit, which is in my opinion, is the most you can hope for when you get dressed in the morning.

Cardigan: Forever21

Like a Dreamsicle Dress: c/o Modcloth

Belt: Vintage

Necklace: Beaded Beauty in Turquoise, Vestique

Heels: Target

And to wrap this fashion post up, here is an outtake shot of my cute little lady being silly with mama. While she’s usually not interested in being in these outfit pictures with me, she is always (ALWAYS!) down for a dance party.

On Everly:

Tunic: Freckles + Kitty

Leggings: American Apparel

Hair Flower: c/o Zuzii

Love,

Melissa

The Next Camera It Bag?

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 12:52:00 -0400

So a little email popped up in my inbox a few months back asking if I, as one of the Style Mentors, would be game for designing my dream camera bag as part of a promotion with THEIT. As a busy mom who is always throwing my poor DSLR into whatever purse or diaper bag is closest, the idea of creating a bag with all of the cool little features I could ever dream up sounded like SO MUCH FUN!

THEIT challenged me & my fellow Style Mentors Jen & Brandy to let our imaginations loose and submit our designs for our dream camera bag. We asked the THEIT pros what made their Bossi Camera bag a winner and with fun and functionality in mind, we set off to design our own.

Now we’re offering you the opportunity to vote on your favorite of our three designs! The winning bag will be produced and one lucky Dear Baby Reader will win one! To enter, go VOTE for your favorite bag (and take a wild guess at which one I designed!) then come back here and leave a comment below ( Random comment topics: Are your allergies killing you too? Anyone else bathing suit shopping right now?) Giveaway and voting both wrap on May 10th - so go check it out and GOOD LUCK!

Love,

Growing the Good - April Charity & Sponsorship Details

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 15:25:00 -0400

This month’s Growing the Good charity, The March of Dimes is an organization that is doing amazing things in the lives of infants and families across the world. Their local and global campaigns finance education, research, and resources to promote the healthy, full term births of babies.

All of the sponsorship funds from this month’s Dear Baby sponsors will be donated specifically to the Theodore Mulhollan walk team for the Triangle March of Dimes Walk. Theodore was stillborn at 38 weeks due to unknown causes. His mother, Kate, describes him as a beautiful, perfect, 8 lbs baby boy. Through her grief, she felt the desire to do something to honor her son’s memory and organized a walk team to support the local March of Dimes charity event.

This is Theodore’s tiny foot print. As a mother, it is extremely hard to even wrap my head around the kind of loss the Mulhollan family has experienced. It spurs me to action to doing something - anything - to help support them on their journey of healing and it’s an honor to use my blog this month for that purpose.

100% of all blog sponsorships from April 21st - May 21st will be donated to the team Theodore Mulhollan walk team so that his family can help this important organization continue their efforts to ensure that future generations of babies benefit from the advocacy, education, and research led by the March of Dimes.

Sponsorship details:

Blog Readership Stats (Monthly averages as of 4/19/12):

Average Unique Visitors: 70,271

Average Page Views: 322,928

Number of Tumblr Followers: 17,333

Number of Twitter Followers: 5,575

If you are a business interested in sponsoring, please email me at GrowingtheGoodDB (@gmail.com) for packages and rates as there are several options available - from basic banner ads to multi-post, cross-platform promotions.

If you are a blogger interested in sponsoring, please email me at GrowingtheGoodDB(@gmail.com)- I’m offering sidebar advertisements for a 125x100 graphic and link back to your site for $30 a month or $65 for 3 months. This special pricing is for bloggers only & you will receive both a banner ad spot & a brief highlight in my monthly sponsors post.

For those of you who have inquired about sponsoring previously and have not heard back — my regular inbox was inundated with amazing folks wanting to help and my efforts to filter everyone was only partially successful. My hope is that since I have a dedicated email address now, I’ll be able to find everyone easily for follow up. If you’re still interested in participating, please email me at GrowingtheGoodDB (@gmail.com).

Remember 100% of your sponsorship fee goes directly to the charity featured each month. All April sponsorships will start on the 21st and will run through May 21st.

Let’s grow the good, together.

Love,