How to go into labor in 15 easy steps.

Now I know I’m still on the early end of the whole “The baby could come any minute now” timeframe - but when you’re sitting around with a fully cooked human being inside of you, the urge to move things along grows stronger by the day. And if you think my desires to have this child are bad, you should see my husband - He literally cheers at every contraction, has had several heart to heart talks with my belly pleading for Everly to come out, and has had me out walking the city with the tenacity of a high school football coach.

So we’ve been trying all sorts of things to get the ball rolling. I’ve likened it to trying to start a lawnmower that hasn’t been used in a long time - you don’t expect for it start on the first yank of the chain, but keep at it long enough and it’s bound to start eventually.

Based on our own internet searches, here’s what we’ve been up to:

1. Walking, walking, and more walking. Including steep San Francisco streets and hiking uphill in our local park trails, and walking up stairs.

2. Last night I ate an entire pineapple. Tonight I plan to slice up another one.

3. Sitting on my big blue exercise ball and rolling my hips around while I type on the computer and watch tv.

4. Hot sauce on everything, jalapenos on my pizza, extra spicy butter chicken from our favorite India place, and carne asada tacos with extra hot salsa.

5. Taking Evening Primrose Oil every night before bed and drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea (These aren’t supposed to start labor - but rather prep your uterus and cervix for delivery)

6. Accupressure massage - Brent’s been giving me lots of foot and shoulder massages in the labor inducing pressure points we learned in these videos.

7. And last but not least… everyone including my mother in law, a guy I went to highschool with, and a random lady at the grocery store have suggested a little romp in the bedroom to get things going. I’m not in the habit of discussing our sex life on my blog - but I feel like I need to call this out as a “Yep, we’re trying that too” as it has been suggested so often.

The one thing I won’t try is Castor Oil - I’ve heard too many horror stories on that one. So, last night I asked everyone on Twitter and Facebook for their labor inducing suggestions, and I have to tell you - the responses were so funny that I had to share them. I’m not promising we’ll try them all - but if something doesn’t happen within the next week or so we may give even the crazy ones a second glance.

Suggestions from friends, family, and strangers on how to induce labor naturally:

  1. Drink a RC Cola and a moon pie
  2. Hack at roots in the yard with an axe
  3. Ride on a 4 wheeler
  4. Jump on a trampoline
  5. Rearrange furniture and eat a McDonald’s cheeseburger
  6. Do jumping jacks while watching Anchorman
  7. Eat a fried green tomato BLT
  8. Have Brent book a gig faraway
  9. Headstands
  10. Go on a brisk walk (nothing too long, like 10-15 minutes). Drink 1/2 a guiness beer while someone (Brent) massages your feet. Then consume 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
  11. Eat hot dogs and ride down a dirt road
  12. Shine a flashlight up your hooha
  13. Ride in an old truck over railroad tracks
  14. Get into a small boat and row out to the middle of a lake.

So there you have it. I have laughed and laughed at these. If you’ve got one I haven’t listed above - leave it in the comments. I’d love to hear it!

Love,

M