Dear Baby

How to travel with a pregnant women (According to my husband)

Step 1: Insist that she try to use the bathroom before you leave the house. Even if she says she just went. Make her go again anyway.

Step 2: Question her choice of footwear. Continue to insist she put on sensible flats or even better, tennis shoes, while she stubbornly scoffs at you, hobbles precariously in high heeled boots and tells you that nothing you’ve suggested goes with her outfit.

Step 3: Open her side of the door and then help her into the seat. She will be the most unmaneuverable* human being you’ve encountered in a long time, so some pushing and heaving may be required on your part. Just keep at it, she’ll get situated eventually.

Step 4: Keep your cool when you are 3 minutes down the road and she looks over at you and says “Honey, when you get a second… can we stop somewhere so I can pee?”

* did I just make that word up?

Love,

M

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