Successes and Failures.

November 15, 2010

Successes and Failures.

(photo by Cat Wilborne - Have you Raleigh folks entered her contest for a free shoot yet?!?)

What we’re working on:

1. Keeping our diaper bag fully stocked. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been out only to discover we’re out of clean diapers. or that we used the clean onesie I try to keep in the bottom due to an unfortunate food accident on our last outing. Or the paci…OMGahhh where is her paci?!!?!

2. Caring for a 9-10 month old. I think this has been the hardest month for us as far as caring for Everly. Even though she was more demanding food wise as an infant, she stayed in one spot or was happy to be carried so we could get things done. Now she’s EVERYWHERE and some how has a magical radar that finds the only spots in our “baby proofed” living room that could possible be dangerous (cords plugged into an outlet and pulling on our fairly lightweight dining chairs). We spend all of our time with her chasing her around and trying to redirect her into a better area/activity. She’s incredibly mobile (and crazy fast) but isn’t verbal enough yet for us to understand each other so this is proving challenging for us. We don’t want to be helicopter parents - but right now, we feel like she’s kind of forcing us to be.

3. Changing diapers/clothes. This is another new struggle. Our kid is freakishly strong. Also, freakishly slithery and hard to hold on to. She somehow got it into her head that having to change clothes is an act of torture and she does her best to escape us. I attempted to make a video of what we have to go through to get on a clean diaper and footy pajamas before bed, but after reviewing it - I decided it resembled one of those rodeo events where the guy has to jump off the horse, wrestle the calf to the ground and hog tie all of its feet together. Sometimes we both end up crying before it’s all over.

4. Getting beat up. My arms are covered in teeth mark bruises, I almost always have a scratch or two on my face, and just this morning I was praying that the head butt she gave me in my sleep didn’t cause a black eye. She’s not maliciously trying to hurt us - it’s just that she has no concept of causing us pain. With a mouthful of 8 little teeth (and more on the way) she likes to bite down on my arms, my toes, our fingers. I’ve tried saying “no” - making a loud shrieking noise - redirecting her to something else - but the simple fact is that she is too young to understand that it is causing us pain and it feels good to her. I don’t know what else to do and I don’t think the “bite her back” suggestion is appropriate for a ten month old. She’s too young to understand what she is doing so at this point, we’re kind of at a loss.

What we’re doing pretty good with:

1. WHAT AN EATER! Everly is such a phenomonal little eater! She likes everything - from curry flavored cous cous to green beans sauteed in garlic. She loves fish, chicken, veggies of all sorts and is doing really well eating small bites now and feeding herself. I know this may change as she enters her toddler years - but right now, the kid is eating like a champ and that makes me a happy mama.

2. Finding time for us. Brent and I decided that we would always make sure to take time for our marriage. This means that atleast once every other week, Everly goes to spend the night at one of her grandparent’s house. (We know how absolutely lucky we are to have this option). On those baby free nights, we eat dinner slowly, we hold hands, we talk, we enjoy each other’s company. We love our girl and we are always itchy to get her back the next day - but for us, it’s been really wonderful to have that dedicated time to focus just on each other.

3. Time management - well sort of! A few months back, I wrote about how overwhelmed we were with dealing with the responsibilities of work, family, home, etc and how we were barely getting it all done. We still face this challenge every single day, but since then (and based a lot off feedback from our family and even some comments you all left on that post!), we’ve begun to make small changes for the better. We’ve hired a once a month house cleaner that comes and mops, vacuums, dusts and scrubs. Making that investment on our tight budget means that we are now coupon clipping, and eating out less, but it’s worth it to have some help with the tasks we felt we never had time to get to. I’ve also started cooking larger meals - half to eat now/half to freeze. Soups, sauces, casseroles - having a quick, pop in the oven option after a hectic day has helped me feel less stressed at the end of the day and gives me more time with the two people I love most. We’ve also defined our chores so we each have areas to focus on - Brent keeps the kitchen clean and vacuums. I do the laundry and keep our bedrooms straighten.

4. Raising our girl without too much “stuff” - I know we’re really only getting started when it comes to entertaining a growing little mind, but I’m kind of proud that we’ve made it this far with basic, simple toys and LOTS of activities. We are working hard to stay on our path of really hands on parenting - lots of walks, exploring the contents of our kitchen cabinets (A whisk kept her busy for a good 15 minutes last week!), playing music with daddy, and changing her scenery often. (Note: I feel like the only exception to the stuff rule is clothing. She’s got a closet full! I can’t seem to pass up a bag full of hand-me-down baby dresses or a sweet hat with ears if my life depended on it!)

5. Learning to be flexible. We cloth diaper - but for overnights and long trips, we use eco-friendly disposables (We’re BIG fans of 7th generation). I wanted to use cloth exclusively but Everly can pee through anything at night (even the ‘sposies!) so we had to make adjusments. I said we wouldn’t let her watch tv - but the way her face lights up when she watches sesame street and yo gabba gabba is hard to deny - and so we let her watch them. I adored Sesame street as a kid - what was I thinking attempting to deny my daughter that same pleasure? There are a million examples like this - things that I was so sure I would or wouldn’t do - but we are learning every day that we have to adjust and change as our needs as a family change.

Are you facing some of these same challenges in your family? Where are you succeeding? I keep thinking these lists could flip flop tomorrow - life is so fickle like that - but today I’m admitting our weaknesses and celebrating our wins!