Dear Baby

(image via Camille Garrison Photography)

I just wanted to follow up on yesterday’s discussion around birth. It’s obvious from the comments that discussing all facets of birth and the birthing process is a very personal, individualized and emotional topic for most women. I think we can all agree that it can be one of the most defining experiences of our lives.

I also want to take a minute to apologize to anyone who felt my post was offensive towards women who have had c-sections. I was born via c-section and many of my friends and family members have also delivered this way. It was never my intention to imply that a c-section birth should be less valued as the way in which a woman brings her child into this world. Childbirth is an incredibly physical and emotional experience no matter what path is taken. Many of you shared the reasons behind your own c-sections and further proved the point that we are very fortunate to live in a society where we have easy access to life saving medical maternity care procedures. While I do think it is important to press for higher standards of regulation around when c-sections are performed, I am in full support of any and all medical intervention that can be utilized when necessary to save the lives of women and babies.

It also made me cringe to hear that some of you felt I came off as high and mighty because I had a natural birth. Do I cherish my experience? Absolutely! Am I proud of my body and of the work I did? You bet. Do I think I deserve a medal or had a more spiritual experience than a mother who chose a different birthing option? Not at all. As mother’s we battle enough self imposed insecurity, enough questioning “Am I doing the right thing?”  and enough criticism about the choices we make for our family without someone else coming along to say “I birthed my baby better than you did”.  If that’s the message you got from my post yesterday, then I want to apologize for that.

There are, however, some things I will be unapologetic about - and that is that I believe there is a need for all women to better understand their birthing options and the benefits and consequences associated with them. While I am grateful for modern medical care, I will always believe that the onus is on the patient to ask questions, educate and advocate for themselves. I do believe there are too many c-sections being performed in the US and I think as a society we need to re-evaluate our entire approach to birth and make it more woman/baby centered and less controlled by protocol, insurance companies, and fear of malpractice.  I also appreciate those of you who challenged me to consider other reasons why our c-section rate is on the rise- such a rise in our obesity rate.

While I personally feel that the only way I want to birth my own children is in a midwife supported, low intervention setting - I am fully supportive of any woman who does her own research and decides that she is most comfortable in a hospital setting, with an OBGYN and the ability to utilize pain management tools such as epidurals. Birth is highly individualized and there is not a “one size fits all” approach to how it should be handled.

I’ve heard from dozens of readers who have said to me “Before I started reading your blog, I never even considered having a natural childbirth. I didn’t know it was really even an option” and for that reason, I will keep sharing my experience. It may not be right choice for every woman, but if it encourages even one new mother to start exploring all of the birth options that are available to her, then it will be worth it.

We all have issues that we are passionate about. This is one of mine and I appreciate each of you who took the time to provide your insight, support, criticisms and perspective on the topic. Creating a dialogue and bringing the issue of women’s maternal care to the forefront of the conversation is always a positive thing.

Love,

M