Answering Reader Questions *

October 1, 2010

Answering Reader Questions *

Do you have any suggestions on a safe toddler size car seat? My chunky one is growing out of her infant seat a little more each day. Just wondering what you have found! Thanks so much! -Nikki

Hi Nikki! I spent so much time reading consumer reports and reviews of more than a dozen carseats. It was overwhelming to say the least! Everly has just recently decided that she hates being put in her infant carrier and she is quickly inching towards the maximum weight limit (22 lbs) - so we felt a bit of urgency in finding her a seat that was safe and comfortable and would grow with her through the years.

After all my research I decided I wanted to purchase a Britax Boulevard carseat - but we just couldn’t afford the pricetag at $300. Britax has been the #1 industry leader in carseat safety an design for years. After quite a bit of digging, we managed to find a new Britax Boulevard at Albeebaby.com for $209 with free shipping. We’ve since received it and we love it - roomy and comfortable for our girl and will allow her to be rear facing up to 33 lbs and forward facing all the way up to 65 lbs.

If $200 is still a bit out of your price range, my second choice would be the Evenflo Triumph Advance LX - it’s priced at $120 and was the highest rated convertible carseat on the 2010 Consumer Reports list of convertible carseats.

My Little one started crawling last week (major cuteness, round baby tush bouncing across the room) and I’m starting to think I have left baby proofing a little late. I’m already finding myself saying “no honey, that’s not food” “no no don’t touch that” or “hey, how about we play over here?”. I asked for advice on my blog recently but I think my only readers are my Mother in law and my Hubby!! I know as with every stage of baby’s development there are a gazillion products out there and Babies R Us always makes my head spin! Any advice on what to get and what not to? did you guys baby proof yet?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.-Claire
Oh Claire - I feel you girl! We are in the thick of whirlwind baby mode at our house. We have a lot of babyproofing left to do and the way we’re figuring out what needs to be moved or changed is by letting Everly loose in our house and seeing where she goes. She’s more than happy to point out to us what decorative vases and items in our home need to be removed or babyproofed!
As far as products we are using - We love love love this Play yard. Yes it’s a big eyesore - but it’s the only thing that allows Brent to make himself a sandwich or check the mail when he’s home alone with Everly. We keep soft blankets on the bottom and lots of fun toys in it to entertain her. She’s only in it for a small portion of her day but it’s a lifesaver when we need to put her somewhere that we know is safe and babyfriendly. Brent also likes to get in it with her and they read books and he plays guitar. It’s so comfy that we’ve been known to get in it when she goes to bed and snuggle up to watch tv. Exhibit A from a few weeks ago:

We also have plans to install the standard cabinet hooks on all of our kitchen cabinets. Our goal is to baby proof in chunks as she becomes more and more mobile. It feels a bit overwhelming to try to take it all on at one time! We are also in the process of ensuring her nursery is completely babyproof so that she will have a room in our house where she can be left completely unsupervised to play on her own as she gets bigger.
Another thing we plan to do is secure our TV to the wall so that if she ever pushes on the cabinet it sits on, it won’t fall on top of her. I read recently that because flat panel tv’s aren’t as sturdy as older models, hospitals are seeing a sharp rise in the number of accidents where they have fallen on top of children.

What parts of motherhood have come instinctively to you? And is there any wisdom that you can share? I know that just like everything in my life, this is just another one of life’s happenings that I have to have faith in myself that I am capable to mother and nurture this child in the best way possible. I’m afraid I’m going to mess up…
In terms of developmental milestones and little things that you have learned along the way, are there any books that you have found helpful?

-Lindsay

I did so much research and preparation regarding having a healthy pregnancy and a successful birth that when Everly arrived, I realized I hadn’t done nearly enough to prepare for actually caring for her. A funny little story - the morning after she was born, I had just finished nursing her and put her in her bassinet to try to get some rest. Brent came over, sat her up, held her under her chin with his hand and started patting her back. I watched in awe and said “Oh my gosh! I forgot you have to burp a baby! How did you know to do it like that?” and he smiled and said “I watched the nurse do it to her last night after you went to sleep!” From that point on, we watched EVERYTHING the nurses did to Everly in case there was something else we had forgotten we were supposed to do!

The good news is - for the most part, mothering has been completely instinctual. I’ve followed my gut on what is right for Everly. And a lot of people will swear by feeding methods and sleep schedules - I tried that for about 1/2 day and almost went nuts! We decided to let Everly guide us in what she needed. When she was hungry, she cried and we fed her. When she was sleepy, she slept! We also tried to fit her into our lifestyle instead of shutting down everything we’d known before her and trying to create something new. We went for walks around the neighborhood, we went to lunch and dinner with her nestled close to me in my moby wrap, we tried to live life as normally as possible. Babies are more adaptable than I think we give them credit for. As long as she was full, had a clean diaper, and was warm and cozy - she was pretty much happy to go anywhere.

The things I haven’t known through instinct - I’ve learned through the women in my family, or our pediatrician, or I’ve asked the advice of friends with children. And if they didn’t know - well good news - We are raising children in the age of Google (HALLELUJUAH!)

Don’t go into it worrying that you might “mess up”. None of us are capable of being the perfect parent. We’re all going to mess up and make mistakes and learn by trial and error. Just do the best you can do and educate yourself as best you can and your little ones will be just fine.

I was wondering if you would mind sharing some of your experiences with co-sleeping. I know this is a very controversial subject, but my husband and I chose this for our little girl. G is 3 months old, and I am starting to get anxious about the transition to a crib, I love the special time with her, but I am having some of the same feelings about missing my time with my husband. Did you have an easy transition from your bed to the crib? And when did you do this? Everything I’ve read says that G will let us know when it is time, and when she is ready for it, but I would love to hear your thoughts/experiences.

-Sarah

The whole cosleeping thing is a hot button topic, isn’t it? Some parents swear by it - others are horrified by it. Personally, I think every family will figure out what works best for their individual needs. I don’t know if our experience with transitioning Everly will be helpful or not - because if I’ve learned anything so far, it’s that every baby is so different that what works brilliantly for one may be a complete failure for another. But here goes….

When Everly was a newborn we started her off in a snuggle nest. She was waking so often to nurse that even getting up to go across the room to get her was wasting precious seconds of sleep. I was also obsessed with checking on her to make sure she was breathing so being able to do it while she was right next to me was beneficial. We kept her snuggle nest elevated as she didn’t like to sleep flat on her back.

This worked wonderfully for awhile - but like you mentioned, Brent and I really started to miss being able to be close to one another. We would laugh because with the snuggle nest between us, only our feet could touch! We used a vintage pram for Everly’s bassinet when she was a baby. I wheeled it right next to our bed and when she was about 7-8 weeks old, we put her snuggle nest in the pram, still elevated and she slept that way for a week or two. Then we took the elevation out of the snuggle nest so that she was sleeping flat on her back.

Once she was ok with that, we removed the snuggle nest completely and she just slept in the pram. Eventually, as she slept for longer periods of time, we pushed her pram to the other side of the room. It took me MONTHS before I was ready to transition her to her crib. I think she was ready within weeks of sleeping flat in the pram - but I couldn’t bare the idea of her being in another room!

Truthfully, it didn’t happen until she was almost 5 months old. Once she started being able to push herself up, the pram was no longer a safe place for her to sleep so we transitioned her to a pack and play at the foot of our bed.

Finally, finally I put on my brave mama face and put her down in her own crib in her own room. I slept fitfully but she actually did pretty well! I think that our turning over and movements woke her more often than I realized when she was in our room.

Now she’s exclusively sleeping in her crib unless she’s sick - but we bring her into our room every morning when she wakes up (anywhere between 4 and 7am). I miss her the minute she goes to sleep - but it sure is nice to have snuggle time with my husband back!

I hope this was maybe a little helpful? Take your time - baby step the process and don’t feel like you need to rush it. There is no timeline- do what works for your family!

Thanks!

* All of these answers are based off of my own opinions and research decisions. I in no way consider myself an expert in parenting or child safety. I’m learning as I go, just as most of you are. If you have a differing opinion or suggestions to add to the conversation - I welcome you to leave them in the comments below. I love open dialogue and find that often my readers are my very best resource in learning new things!